Grapefruit Cake

For better or worse, right?
Not everything I make is a home run, and if anyone is reading this (besides the e-archaeologists of the future who may have stumbled upon this....but wait, you guys too....if you still bake in the future) then I think I owe it to you to share the lessons of my learnings. IS anyone reading this?

Learnings = fuckups.
This isn't really a fuckup, just a close but not so hot cake.

I tried making a grapefruit cake for our friend Forrest's birthday.

Forrest



It's a Paula Deen recipe that Paul saw Kathy Griffin eating on her 'reality' show. What the hell kind of pop-culture provenance is that? Anyway, here's the link to the recipe.

Paula Deen. I basically like her, but what is that device? Clearly not just a toaster.


I didn't take many pics of the cake because we were vacationing at Forrest's mom's house and distracted.
Maybe I got carried away, I did add some extra zest, but not too much. I thought. The cake had pretty good flavor, not very strong though. I think if I hadn't added extra zest it would have been weak.

The problem came near the end of eating a piece....my mouth went kind of numb. Everyone's did.


Ever react that way to grapefruit? Especially if you eat the pith or some zest for some reason? A numbness starts in the lips..... It wasn't like the after affects of oral surgery but it was weird.

Weird like this band called grapefruit from the 60's

So either not enough flavor or numb lips. Not worth it. As Forrest said, some flavors aren't meant for cake and this is one of them. It wasn't a complete disaster, but if a citrus cake is called for lemon or orange will do much better.

Forrest and Emily's son Ian ate the cake. I didn't think to ask him how he reacted

....so young....

I hope I didn't sour him on cake at an early age.

Bread Baker's Apprentice Challenge Part 3: Bagels

in which New York bagel meccas leave me slapping my New York forehead.

I've joined the online Bread Baker's Apprentice Challenge. This is the third recipe in the book, and in the challenge.

Blurry bagels



The book recommends you use a really high gluten flour. One with 14% gluten compared to the 12% of bread flour. They recommend ordering it online or just asking your local bagel maker to sell you some. I thought "I live in NYC, not far from the Upper West Side. I'm morally obligated to get my ass to a bagelry and ask for flour." I looked forward to bragging about making bagels using the same flour as H&H Bagels, Zabar's.

I called H&H Bagels and asked if they would sell me flour. Woman on the phone said yes., so I went to H&H.


"We don't sell the flour" said the woman behind the counter. I told her about the phone call and she stared at me. 'We don't make the bagels here. They make them in New Jersey."
Oy. Fine. I hadn't dialed Jersey. I stared back for a second then left. Tempted to argue for some reason, but realized.......why bother?

But what's right across the street?
Zabars. Perfect. I head for their bread/baked goods/bagel counter.



"Hi. WIll you sell some of the flour you use to make your bagels?"
"Oh, talk to the person up front. They might give you secrets."
"I don't need to know how you make them. I'm just hoping I can buy some of the flour."
"We just use white flour."
"Oh! Regular white flour?"
"Talk to person up front" Then the smile drops, she gazes past my left shoulder, eyes suddenly focused on the distance and I am cold shut out!
Why couldn't she just say "I have no idea"? That was clearly the truth

That wasn't protecting secrets. It was clasic New York institutions being trumped by bad New York customer service. Not thoughtful enough to be New York rudenesss. Just New York idontcare.

I could have pushed but I thought, if it's this much work to get the flour I won't want to do this again. I decided to try just bread flour. The book says it's ok, and I don't have to wait for it or negotiate for the right to buy it.

Easy recipe
Starts with a soaker of yeast and flour and water. Rises well.

Add more ingredients to make a dough and knead it. The book says pros use malt syrup to add flavor but they say brown sugar is ok. I used broown sugar. (A tiny ammount. These weren't sweet.) Then shape into balls.



Then shape into bagels an put them in the fridge overnight.

They swell in the night.

Boil them for just a minute or two. This is when mine collapsed a little. Got dense but deflated looking.



Sprinkle with seeds or rock salt or both or nothing or whatevah.



Then they bake about 10-15 minutes. The morning process is short, which is great. These had a nicely dense, not too dense, texture inside, but look. Flattish.



Tasted great though. I'll be patient next time and order the high gluten flour.



We still ate that shit.

Cornmeal Sage Chili Powder Biscuits

Another du-liiiiiiiiish variation on my standby biscuit recipe.

Adding cornmeal gives these a nice crunch and color. The chili powder and sage work very well with the cornmeal. These kind of taste like Doritos biscuits. Butter them up and feel your head explode (good thing) when you start chewing.

Mix the dry:
1 1/2 cup flour
1/2 cup cornmeal

1 tablespoon baking powder

1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sage 1 teaspoon chili powder



Mix in:
1/3 cup COLD shortening or butter (butter's best)

Use a pastry cutter or your hands break the butter up into approximately pea-size chunks, some bigger, some smaller. Err on the larger, less finessed side.
Solid butter/shortening chunks create steam pockets in the biscuit when it bakes, making it fluffy.

Mix in:
1 cup buttermilk, milk, or cream (buttermilk is best)

Just barely mix this in, then drop the dough on a floured counter.



Sprinkle a little flour on top, and flatten the dough with your hands to about 1/2"high, then fold it, then flatten it again, and fold again. You finish off the mixing this way, while you're folding it to create the layers.

If it's real wet sprinkle more flour on top. But be cautious not to dry out the dough. Flatten and fold about 4- 6 times.
Working fast and not over mixing is key. In about 30 seconds it looks like this:



Cut them out.
Bake at 425 degrees for 12-15 min.

Watch them rise! RISE!



A HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!



These are great little shits! Eat that shit!

Tutti Fruity Cupcakes

aka Orange Cupcakes with Lemon Frosting



Dang. I mean, honestly, these were great. I don't mean to brag. But I do.
I didn't exactly see them in a dream, but I saw them in a daydream late in the winter, and have since been waiting for warm weather.

the Orange Cupcakes: so flippin' easy!
Oven to 350.

Mix the dry:
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 teaspoons baking powder
2 cups white sugar

In a separate bowl, mix the wet:
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3 eggs, beaten
zest of one large orange

Mix the dry with the wet. Mix well. If using an electric mixer let it ix on medium/high speed for a minute. But don't lose control ok? If one minute is good it doesn't mean 10 minutes is great. Keep your head. Fluff it some, but it's very liquid so you can only fluff it so much. Have I made my point? Should I go on? No, I don't think I need to. Do I? Do I?

Bake cupcakes for about 15-18 minutes. Look at those domes. Humpy.



Lemon Frosting
(alllllright, this is an adaptation of the passion fruit cream cheese frosting I posted earlier. Don't criticize, this recipe works well with a tart fruit. Don't call me that. Quick question: IS anyone reading this? Can I get a whatwhat? cricketcricket. I know you're out there I can hear you breathing. Actually I can't. If you are reading this from the future please leave a comment and tell me what crazy events lead to you stumbling on this. What is it telling you about 2009?



In a mixer bowl beat until smooth (3-4 minutes):
6 ounces cream cheese
1 cup powdered sugar
2 tablespoons butter
1/4 teaspoon salt

On low speed, add 1 tablespoon at a time while mixing:

Zest and juice of one large lemon

mmmmchunks

You may need to chill it a bit to make it thick enough to work with. Also don't be afraid to add a little more powdered sugar if it isn't thick enough. Cream cheese frostings can be temperamental, consistency-wise.

Fruit Topping advice
Here's where the daydreaming came in. I got some blackberries, blueberries, kiwis, raspberries, strawberries, and oranges, cleaned and sliced them. Arranged them on the frosted cupcakes.
I brushed them with honey. Glazing like this is important when topping something with fruit, otherwise the fruit can dry out really quickly. Marmalade or honey work well as glaze. Warmed in the microwave it becomes thin enough to brush on.



Such compulsive behavior. Drugs help get through it. I kid. But they do. A little. No, a lot. I kid.



But it's worth it.



They look great, and the fruit actually added a lot to the taste and texture. They were great when chewed up with the cake and frosting. There was no off-putting clash of texture. No need to pluck them off and eat them separately. It's decor that functions.



Eat that shit!

Bread Baker's Apprentice Challenge Part 2: Greek Celebration Bread

I've joined the online Bread Baker's Apprentice Challenge. This is the second recipe in the book, and in the challenge.

Greek Celebration Bread is an easy bread that starts with a pre-ferment the night before. The pre-ferment takes 11 minutes to prep. I kid. I didn't time it. But it was fast. Very fast.
It's yeast and flour and water that sits overnight, getting bubbly and developing a deep flavor that will give the bread a great base. Look at that bubbly mass.



The next day the whole process, (mixing the dough, letting it go through 2 rising stages) is very easy and takes about 4- 4 1/2 hours overall.
The dough, pre-rise:



Cinnamon and Allspice add flavor but subtley. This is slightly sweet and spiced but nothing like a spicecake. It's good and moist and strong enough to hold a thinnish slice. It gets a lemon glaze on the crust that bounces nicely off the light spices. French toast may be the vehicle that shoots this bread into heaven, but it can also man up to coldcuts like salami, swiss, a good spicy mustard. Bring something with a little strength to work with the flavor in the bread.

I skipped the elaborate decoration the book advised. I thought it was meant for another bread, Oops.



But none the less (is that one word? Nonetheless?) the bread has a PRESENCE. Big as my head. Easy to slice, nice fragrance, Damn. And perfect - pay attention - for toast, butter and jam, or like I said, French Toast!



A Bulging big beauty with a toasty crust.
Look at that.
So satisfying to make. So easy. This will be a standard in my kitchen. Looks like the mother ship, doesn't it?

Bread Baker's Apprentice Challenge Part 1: Anadama Bread

Peter Reinhardt's Bread Baker's Apprentice is my favorite bread book. I've mentioned it before.

I found a group of other baking bloggers, organized at Pinch My Salt, who are baking each recipe in the book, in order, one at a time. I'm joining in. At least until it gets too hot. Pinch My Salt is a great food blog. Please check it out.

If anyone else from the group is checking me out: HELLO! Welcome! Leave a note before you go. I'm Chad, and over there are the aliens and people from the future that I suspect are the only other ones who read this.



They're nice so far. If they're messing up this present to alter their future, I haven't noticed yet. But then that's how it would work, isn't it?
To respect Reinhardt's copyright, the group requests that we not post recipes, so I won't. Really, I think one recipe or two is good advertising. Since this is all about doing the whole book, though, I won't. I'll just talk about the other stuff.

Alright. the first challenge.
Anadama Bread (in which a procedural (d)evolves into a diatribe)
is a pretty easy bread that starts with a pre-frement the night before of cornmeal and water, left at room temp.



The pre-ferment takes 7 minutes to prep. The next day the whole process takes about 6 hours. The cornmeal is noticeable in the flavor and texture. It's got a richness and a crunch, and it's slightly dense. A slight sweet flavor, a little complex.

This isn't a light bread. It's a tiny bit crumbly so it holds a nice slice if it's a little thick. It's therefore a little too cumbersome, and crumbly for a sandwich bread. (But then, I'm a little picky about how my sandwich bread behaves.) I'm not stoned, it's just that recipes for bread don't talk enough about the function. Breads can do different things and sometimes I want a bread specifically to do something. Cakes are always for dessert, but not all bread makes for a good grilled cheese or good french toast. I'm compensating for that perceived lack in baking writing now. My own little mission. My thing. My bag. The way I roll. Where I'm at in my own journey.

So anadama bread: messy and a little sweet for sandwich bread for me, but great just toasted. It has flavor, but goes over the top (that's good) with a little butter. It would work well, slathered in butter, for scooping up salty runny fried eggs.

You start with a preferment of cornmeal and water, like I said. It ferments overnight, gives the bread a good flavor base and softens the cornmeal.

The dough rises nicely on my crowded counter.

I only have one loaf pan. Pretty impressive, yes. So I baked little rolls in muffin tins. I wasn't sure if the dough would support it's own weight so I used the tins.

I think the loaf was better than the rolls. I'm maybe nit picking.

A handsome loaf.

Whole Wheat Bread

From The Bread Baker's Apprentice comes this easy and delish bread.
This is maybe my favorite bread book. The author, Peter Reinhart is a really good educator/writer with a great blog here.

It requires making 2 starters the day before you bake, but it adds up to about 20 minutes of extra work. This is incredibly easy. The starters do all the work of fermenting while you sleep, so this yields a great tasty bread.

The day before you make the bread, make a Soaker and a Poolish.



Soaker (a wet non-yeasted batter used to start breaking down coarse grains like whole wheat. The breaking-down starts releasing sugars in the grain).
Mix:
1 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 cup water.
Leave in a bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and let sit at room temp until the next day.

Poolish (a wet 'pre-ferment'; a batter that allows some yeast to start digesting the flour early, giving it more time to ferment, or turn sugars into ethanol and carbondioxide, resulting in rich barely-sour flavor in the bread)
Mix:
1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1/4 teaspoon instant yeast
3/4 cup water or buttermilk or milk
Stir just til flour is wet. Cover in a bowl with plastic wrap. MLEave at room temp for 2-4 hrs or til it starts bubbling. Then fridge it overnight.

Bread:
Take poolish out of fridge and let warm to room temp for an hour or two.

Mix in an electric mixer bowl:
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 teaspoon instant yeast
1 cup white bread flour
1 1/3 teaspoons salt

Add:
Soaker
Poolish
2 tablespoons honey
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 egg

Mix til dough forms a ball. Knead it by hand for 10-15 minutes, a little less if using a mixer.

Like a flame it compels you to stare. Stare! Watch it come together as it abuses the mixer that creates it. Is anyone reading this? Aliens and people from the future don't count.



Let rise at room temp for 2 hours or til it doubles in size.



Split the dough in 2. Shape into sandwich loaves and place in 2 lightly oiled 8 1/2 x 4 1/2 inch loaf pans. (I only had one pan so i did one loose. It worked just as well)



Mist the top with oil and cover loosley with plastic wrap. Let rise about 90 minutes (or til it doubles again).
MEANWHILE heat oven to 350.



Bake for 30 minutes, rotate 180 degrees and bake 15 to 30 minutes longer. When done, it should sound hollow when thumped on the bottom.



A tasty, light loaf!



Eat that shit!